I've got most my shopping done, except for one gift My school's secret Santa is the only one left I got this kid little Jimmy, I don't know him that much He's kinda weird, sits by himself at lunch I feel sorry for the guy, I should get him something good Something to show him the meaning of Christmas brotherhood I can get him a candle, one that smells like pine Or some new golf clubs to swing on the back nine A pet rock, some wool socks, a chemistry set I can get him refill seeds for his Chia pet (Ooh Jimmy) Some medicated ointment if he gets a rash Or do I just give up, and give him some cash I don't know what to get, Jimmy this Christmas I've got nothing to go off of, no words or wishlists An easy bake oven to make muffins and crescents Or a pair of pants, maybe horseback riding lessons But I just wanna see the joy that we can bring To a boy I hardly know To make his season special, see his smile glow I've got a lot to accomplish this time of year Even though we've got Santa I gotta kick it in gear My neighbors always get me stuff, so now I need to focus on him They only have one son, we call him tiny Jim Just one problem, I've only seen him outside twice So a gift is gonna be hard, I wanna be nice I don't know what he likes, cars, paper towels or bikes Or mittens, going fishing, a can of cranberry Sprite Is he a messy boy? Does he need a napkin Or a mean Crocheting kit if he's into fashion A new answering system, so block robo-callers All I know is my budget is ten dollars I don't know what to get, Jim this Christmas I have nothing to go off of, no words or wishlists So it's gotta be good, but not too pricy I could get him off brand crocs, or chips that are spicy But I just wanna see the joy that we can bring To a boy I hardly know To make his season special, see his smile glow Does he like board games, checkers, clue or life I saw a QVC special on a butchers knife His shoes I think are Nike, I've seen them in town If he wears them on the street will he look like a clown? Star of David around his neck, on his head a Yamaca He doesn't celebrate Christmas, he needs a gift for Hanukkah Wait a minute, I think we got it all wrong Shalom to my neighbor I should've known all along So I got Jimmy a present, actually eight Some raisins, fishnets and Pink Floyd cassette tapes A balloon, a harpoon, 64 pack of crayons Shutter shades, sunglasses and Burger King coupons I can't wait to see the joy that we will bring To a bot we should have known Make his Hanukkah lit when he comes home James, you know this song is about you This is based on a man we once knew, and loved Hey James, this is for your funeral one day