With every glass of Jaegermeister, I go back in time Bourbon, gin and Irish Whiskey they ain't a friend of mine With every drink I gargle, with every shot I pound The room spins on its axis (and I go) crashing to the ground I won't learn a thing while I am drowning in my cups (But) You could learn a lot by watching how I screw this up With every shot of Southern Comfort, I stumble more and more With every boilermaker, I swing closer to the floor With every Harvey Wallbanger, well I go round and round With every swig of rum this sailor runs his ship aground I'm a good example of a bad bad way to be Pay some close attention, you could learn a lot from me You could learn a lot, baby, learn a lot from me I'm the best example of the way you shouldn't be (I) must be in a book somewhere, between sake and chablis You could learn a lot, baby, learn a lot from me Life and love and work all go to hell each time I drink I'll never solve this problem, I'm too effed-up to think There's lessons you can learn from me, I'm sure you see it plain (But) don't ask me stupid questions while I'm circling the drain Until hell freezes over, or a Republican comes clean You could learn a lot, you could learn a lot from me With each slug of tequila, I lose my grip on here And with a few more shots I have been known to disappear It's not that I'm a villain, nor am I a Boy Scout (But) it's when my walls come tumbling down my demons stumble out And when those jerks run 'round my brain, I make me some faux pas And soon the things I say and do break all sorts of laws You could learn a lot, baby, learn a lot from me I'm the best example of the way you shouldn't be I'm drowning quite completely in my Long Island Iced Tea You could learn a lot, baby, learn a lot from me