Call me Efrem Zimbalist Get me Bobby Kennedy Then call Dave Ben-Gurion, too Then tell Carol Baker I'm home now Tell her Mastroianni sends love from Rome now Then get Hank Mancini and tell him Fred Fellini is waiting Where the heck is the song? Order Scotch and ice and then Ring up Barbra Streisand and then Set up a conference call With Sammy Davis and Charles de Gaulle Call me Walter Cronkite And tell him Nancy Dickerson said That David Brinkley was wrong Then get Conrad Hilton in Bombay Tell him tuesday night I want peaches flambe Call Chief Justice Warren And tell him Sophie Loren is worried Is she married or not? Then call Arthur Schlesinger No, no, send a messenger With the saddest news of the bunch Tell Lady Bird I'll be late for lunch Dial up Liberace And, while up, Joe Valachi And tell him Lucky sends his regards Find out where Onassis' barge is Call him, ship-to-shore, and reverse the charges Locate Melvin Belli And tell Mel when I fell I was scratched By Princess Margaret's rose Then call Lollabrigida This week she's in Wichita And then, when you reach Cary Grant Tell him I'd love to, but I just can't