I decided I would write a country song I'm an old rock 'n' roller, what could go wrong My Nashville friend said let me see what you got I said, is it country? and he said not You're missing the traditional elements here It's country music, it isn't Shakespeare You gotta add some things to make it genuine You're going for a certain redneck baseline You got no moonshine, no beer bar, and no pedal steel No truck out on the highway, turnin' its wheels No Pancho, no Lefty, no small southern town No beer for your horses, no rodeo clown No Jesus, no preachin', no old country church No midnight ramblin', no whiskey research So many ways this thing has gone wrong This don't sound like a good country song I'm not a cowboy, I don't ride a horse No rodeo credentials anyone would endorse My Fender Telecaster is my friend But I also play my Stratocaster turned up to ten But there's still some small town left in my veins A little bit of sunshine and back road remains I never wore a Stetson hat of course Looking back that's causing me a little remorse There ain't no mama, trains, trucks or prison, no gettin' drunk No tight jeans or tan lines, no junk in the trunk No double-dealin' woman-stealin' country bros No leanin' queen in daisy dukes, no punch in the nose No B double E double R-U-N No phony television preacher sayin' amen You may think that you're comin' on strong But what you got here ain't no good country song I got ordinary working people gettin' it done Payday on a Friday and some weekend fun Walking by the river on a moonlit night A pretty girl beside me and I'm feelin' all right Raising up a family of your very own Looking back with satisfaction when they are grown Small town sweet life, no freeways or smog Just sittin' on my porch with my guitar and my dog I got no grass snake, heartache, no cheatin' heart No alcohol or drug abuse, I missed that part I'm never making fun of my small town friends I used to be one of them way back when No Willie, no Haggard, no outlaw boys Though I've always had a soft spot for Waylon's voice No disrespect, but Mr. Nashville is wrong I think I've got the makings of a good country song