What a year it's been, I'm on my knees Living every moment in my head If I have to face another day like this I'll drink until I'm numb and sick The world outside is burning and I'm too self absorbed to care This year all my wanting turned to need Nights I'd write and ache and bleed In a melancholic rage Trying to be Hemingway Will she help me escape All I want is her embrace Can she hold me in her arms Can I lay here till oblivion comes I'm avoiding truths, I keep pretending An addict to my thoughts and fantasies I break myself beyond repair Destroy my hopes, I rip and tear I'm imploding in my self-loathing Well I keep him locked up, the real me The version no one ever sees The outside world's become my cage I sink so deep, I disengage Will she help me escape All I want is her embrace Can she hold me in her arms Can I lay here till the dawn I succumb to what I crave I feel the crash of every wave I can't stand just to be Will she love the ugly parts of me Caught in my hedonistic, nihilistic self-destruction I search for motivation, muses, mentors, inspiration Could she love me if she knew Would she stay and be my muse Am I loved for who I am Or am I wearing this mask again Will she help me escape All I want is her embrace Can she hold me in her arms Can I lay here till it's dawn I succumb to what I crave I feel the crash of every wave I can't stand who I really am Will she love me as a broken man